mythbuster | appointment post

Let me know if you know about forging swords and are willing to give me a hand.

[As full of formal niceties as always here.]

[ Luckily Loki's standards for interaction are quite low, so he doesn't take issue with Dirk's bluntness. When he responds, though, his volume is a bit lacking. Probably because he's holding the portable database further out than is strictly necessary. ]

Swords? What for?

[ If it's for something dumb like Dirk's battle bot, he is ready to refuse. ]

I need a new one. [Technically true.] I have the hilt from mine, but it was broken in two and I lost the rest of it in a battle. [Also technically true. Just... pointedly leaving out information about the sword that happened between 'broken in two' and 'need a new one.'

He trusts Loki with this and feels way more comfortable around him than most other people. That doesn't mean he's going to tell Loki about Homestuck.]

[ That's okay. No one deserves to know about Homestuck.

Loki has to think for a moment. Forging a sword from scratch would be a chore, but if he has part of a sword to work with, it should be much simpler... ]

... Alright. Bring me whatever remains of the sword and enough raw metal to make up the rest of the blade. Steel would be a good choice, but I can use whatever you give me.

I found a few strange metals salvaging. Do you want me to bring them in to see whether they'll work?

[...Also they're really cool and he just wants to show them to Loki. He's not sorry.]

Strange metals? Sure, I'll take a look.

[ He's not like. A metallurgist?? But he is curious so he'll just pretend he might potentially have any productive commentary at all. ]

I'll be in the kitchen. Come by whenever you want.

[ There, he'll be peacefully munching on a small bowl of food so questionably prepared that it's swathed in evil, pixelated, and given an R-rating. But it tastes pretty alright, if you ask him. ]

[Dirk shows up empty handed because sylladex and looks at what Loki's eating.]

So you're definitely immortal.

[He grabs the seat across from Loki, and out from the sylladex come samples of the four metals, plus the hilt + some blade of the katana.]

URSULA couldn't identify any of them. I'd be interested if you can.

[The first one is an odd, shiny metallic, catching the light rays. The second, a deep red rust colour, seems to beat quietly in front of them, as gentle and rhythmic as a heart. There's nothing immediately noticeable about the third, cloudy pink one. The last is light pastel green and doesn't show any signs of what it does.]

... What's that supposed to mean?

[ He is honestly a bit puzzled. No one's ever criticized his cooking before... ~~Maybe they were afraid to.~~ Whatever, though. Dirk's weird sometimes. Dirk, you're weird. Loki sets aside his bowl to look at the metals and broken unbreakable katana. ]

Ahh!! It's as I thought! I...!

Know absolutely nothing about these.

But that's fine. We can experiment.

[ He points at the second metal, the oddly beating one. ]

That one's a bit odd, though.

Your cooking is disgusting and toxic.

[Dirk is not afraid. And he is always ready to deliver criticism.

But okay, Loki's being a little shit. Same old, same old. Loki pointed at the metal Dirk is most interested and he picks it. He feels it pulse in his hand.] It reminds me a little of gallium, but I can't work out what it could be reacting with to let that happen.

[He isn't sure it would make a great sword. Possibly it would make a terrible sword? At the same time, he thinks it's amazing. There's something incredibly soothing about feeling it beat away.]

[ He just ignores Dirk's critique 'cause haters b hatin'. ]

It could be reacting with the planet itself, maybe. Nothing would surprise me.

[ He watches the rock pulsate for a few more beats before turning his attention to the first metal, holding it to the light and watching it glow. There would be a certain poetic quality to making a sword out of material like this... ]

All possessions have an identity. The longer they have relationships with people, the more those people share themselves with that possession, the stronger that identity gets. I suspect your sword hasn't forgotten itself yet, Dirk. Mending it should be doable.

[ He sets the metal back in place. ]

It'll take on a magical nature, though. Do you mind?

[Dirk listens to Loki curiously. He clearly can't cook, but when it comes to the meanings of things, of identities, Dirk has come to trust his judgement. He still recalls the runes that form his name.

He doesn't let himself reach out for the hilt of that sword. His sword. Another of the legacies passed into his hands.]

Magical weapons are pretty commonplace for us.

But I'd prefer to work out exactly what kind of side-effects that might have before signing off on it.

[Magic is fine. But anything can be double-edged. He knows what the other version of this sword has done. He knows what another iteration of Lil Cal held inside it.

He does not want to be carrying around an evil sword.]

In most ways, it should be a strength. Your sword will be more durable and less subject to external factors both physical and magical. If it's up against a non-magical weapon, your sword should win every time. But if something does manage to damage your sword, it will be hard to repair. Otherwise, assuming these metals aren't magically potent, the end result should be similar to a normal if extremely hardy sword.

[ Even if that pulsing metal begs a second look... ]

Most importantly, rune magic is tied closely to its caster. None but I can remove the spells on your sword. But if I cease to exist, the magic will be undone and the sword will revert back to its pre-magic state.

[Dirk doesn't think twice about giving Loki that kind of power over his weapon. He is a little more concerned about the ceasing to exist.]

Nice understatement.

[He knows people around here have a habit of disappearing. On one hand, he doesn't want his sword to get wrecked. But if Loki vanished, and the sword stayed safe, that would at least let him know Loki was all right—and by extension, perhaps the others who disappeared. And if the sword didn't...]

Will the sword revert back to its broken state if you decide that existing is overrated?

Overrated? ... Hey, hey. Are you having depressed thoughts? We can get you help for that.

[ He knows a doctor!! From 18th (19th?) Century. But he seems savvy about the modern world.

The idea of finding existence overrated honestly doesn't occur to him. He's content with living life day by day. ]

I might start getting some if you don't answer my question.

[Loki you are such a piece of shit why is he trusting you to make him a sword.]

[ who even knows

also he is feeling bullied right now ]

Well, I suppose... in theory, if I found existence too bothersome and decided to end it for myself, the sword would unmend.

[ This is getting a little morbid... ]

[He studies Loki for a moment longer. Then he nods and pushes the hilt across the table.]

In that case, I'm gonna go for the action movie cliche and ask you to try not to die.

You can start by changing your diet.

[ Dirk continues being a weird guy. Loki slides the broken sword closer, but leaves it on the table. ]

There's nothing wrong with my diet.

[ Anymore. He would be eating approximately 50000 times more cake if it were accessible to him. ]

Are you worried about me? It's alright. I'm pretty resilient. [ He lifts a comforting(?) hand. There, there. There, there. ] Anyway, we can test the metals for hardness, melting point, and so on. Once you pick one you like, we can figure out how to proceed.

I'm comforted.

[Well done, Loki. Really. Dirk's nod is a slight thing, but it confirms regardless.] Will the Aurora do for a forge again, or should I be looking for a volcano?

... A volcano?

[ Please explain. ]

It's a real hard sword for a real hard dude. It was said to be forged by an ancient Otaku Master over the heat of a roaring manga fire. It was cooled in an enchanted spring where virgin horses nicker and bathe, and was said could be used only by one whose pointy anime shades were deemed sweet enough, and whose hair existed in a perpetually sculpted state of looking completely fucking awesome. All of those things were said by me.

[Dirk does not change tone for that entire thing.]

Actually getting it forged by a Norse detective [ha] on an alien planet in a volcano or lava would be a pretty ironic second life. [Since obviously all the things Dirk said were total bullshit. But now it will be the truly anime sword. And that's hilarious to him.]

...

Why do I talk to you?

[ Moments like this seriously make him question. He really has no friends, does he? That's what this means. This right here. ]

Well, it's your sword, so if you want it done in something absurd like lava, then I can do it. The only limit is your patience in finding the right location for it.

Dave and I are looking for a volcano anyway. I'm borrowing the lightsaber until I make a new sword.

[Loki you like him so just admit to it? Come on. You need weirdos in your life to be happy.]

[ Baka!! He is too kakkoi to need fushigi tomodachis to be ureshii. ]

Mm-hm... And should I ask why you two were already looking for a volcano?

Probably not.

[Stop being a tsundere? Dirk isn't.

he's clearly a kuudere]

We're going to name it Mount Doom.

appointment post

june 7th; audio

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